11 November 2009
~ Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances: Parts Nine and Ten ~
For the previous chapter, please click here.
“I AM afraid the wedding’s off, lady,” drawled Evan Hellsinger, as he trained his stake-loaded pistol upon my would-be -wife (and vicious vampiress) Helena Handbaskett. “But you’re just in time for your funeral!”
“I’m already dead, foolish mortal!” hissed Helena, baring her fangs.
“Oh yeah,” Hellsinger remembered. “Well, uh…prepare for your second funeral, then!”
Helena rolled her eyes in despair, and then in one swift, effortless motion, she grabbed Hellsinger by his collar and hurled him out of one of the stained-glass windows. I watched with dismay as the only vampire-slayer in the building crashed through the window and disappeared into the night outside, leaving a Hellsinger-shaped hole in the glass, through which bright, brilliant moonlight streamed into the church.
“It has risen!” Helena proclaimed excitedly.
“Well,” I smiled, getting increasingly frisky as the five bottles of whisky I had earlier consumed started to make their presence felt in my system. “You ARE wearing a very low-cut dress, m’dear…I am bound to get rather excited…”
» Read on, dear readers…
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 7 Remarkable Remarks »
05 November 2009
The unthinkable is about to be thunk – Lord Likely, Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-Man of Action, is due to be wed! And furthermore, his bride-to-be is an evil, blood-sucking vampiress!
Is this the end of the bachelor lifestyle for his lordship?
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 11 Remarkable Remarks »
23 October 2009
Lord Likely cordially invites you all to his…wedding? What the deuce?!?
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 10 Remarkable Remarks »
19 October 2009
Wherein Evan Hellsinger gives Likely and Spunkleford some shocking information, and wherein Likely gives Hellsinger a broken nose.
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 10 Remarkable Remarks »
14 October 2009
Lord Likely and Inspector Spunkleford find themselves facing an unseemly death at the hands of a blood-crazed doctor…
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 10 Remarkable Remarks »
13 October 2009
As Lord Likely’s witless scribe finds himself in financial turmoil, it is up to his lordship to step up and sort the bugger out.
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Random Insertions | 5 Remarkable Remarks »
05 October 2009
After having slain her master, the vicious vampire Mr. Stryx, Lord Likely consoles the fiend’s poor maid, offering her a shoulder to cry on and a proud, mighty member to sit upon…
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 8 Remarkable Remarks »
23 September 2009
As Lord Likely’s birthday arrives, his lordship is perturbed to find that everyone has seemingly forgotten his special day – could this really be the case?
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Random Insertions | 13 Remarkable Remarks »
22 September 2009
Lord Likely – Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-Man of Action – faces off against Mr. Strix – blood-sucking vampire and all-round bastard. Who shall triumph?
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 8 Remarkable Remarks »
15 September 2009
Despite his initial reservations and scepticism, Lord Likely finds himself heading to meet with a vampire – the bloodthirsty Mr. Strix!
Dun-dun-duuuuuuun!
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 10 Remarkable Remarks »
